LESSON 5.3 : The Relating to Others Mental Checklist — What Examiners Are Really Looking For

The Relating to Others Mental Checklist — What Examiners Are Really Looking For

The Relating to Others domain is not a single skill you demonstrate at one point in the consultation — it is six interconnected behaviours that should be visible throughout all 12 minutes. Think of them as a mental checklist you can run at any point during a case to make sure you are not leaving marks on the table.

1. Show Genuine Empathy — Not Scripted Sympathy

Empathy must be specific, authentic, and continuous. It is not a phrase you deploy once and move on. The examiner is watching for whether the patient felt genuinely understood — and formulaic responses are immediately obvious.

The difference is clear: the first doctor acknowledges and moves on. The second doctor follows the emotional thread — and in doing so, opens up the real consultation. Every time a patient shares something personal or emotional, you have a choice: close it down or follow it. The SCA rewards following it, every single time.

2. Empower the Patient — Don't Lecture Them

The days of "doctor knows best" are gone. The RCGP's curriculum is built around shared decision-making, and the examiner wants to see you treating the patient as a partner, not a passive recipient of instructions.

1. Present options and let the patient choose: "There are a couple of approaches we could take — let me explain them and you can tell me what feels right for you"
2. Support self-management: give the patient skills and confidence to manage their condition, not just a prescription. "Here are some things you can do at home that often make a real difference"
3. Signpost community resources: support groups, online resources, exercise programmes, social prescribing services. This shows you are thinking about the whole person, not just the diagnosis
4. Invite questions: "What questions do you have?" is more effective than "Any questions?" — the first assumes they have questions, the second implies they should not

3. Address the Obvious — Don't Dance Around It

If the case notes contain an abnormal blood result, a recent bereavement, a previous complaint, or a referral outcome — do not save it for later and hope it comes up naturally. The patient is almost certainly thinking about it from the moment the consultation begins. Avoiding it creates tension and makes the consultation feel disconnected.

1. If there is an abnormal result: "I can see we received some test results recently. I suspect that might be on your mind — shall we start there?"
2. If there is a recent significant event in the notes: address it directly with sensitivity, not avoidance
3. If the patient has been seen multiple times for the same problem: acknowledge it. "I can see you've been in a few times about this. I want to make sure we really get to the bottom of it today"

The cases that catch candidates out are often the ones where the real issue is staring them in the face, but they get distracted by the presenting complaint and never address it.

4. Explain Clearly

This links directly to the explanation skills covered in previous lesson. In the context of Relating to Others, the key point is that your explanation should be a dialogue, not a monologue. Use the WHAT-WHY-HOW-NEXT framework, chunk and check, use plain language and analogies, and watch the patient's reaction as you speak. If they look confused, simplify. If they look overwhelmed, pause.

5. Stay Curious — Explore Everything

Good consulting requires genuine curiosity about the person sitting in front of you. Follow every cue. Ask "why" and "how" and "what does that mean for you." Explore the psychosocial context behind the presenting complaint — not just the impact of the illness on their life, but the life circumstances that may be driving it

The candidates who score highest on Relating to Others are the ones who make the patient feel like a person, not a clinical problem. Ask about their work, their family, their worries, their goals. The clinical information you need will emerge naturally from this curiosity — and the patient will feel genuinely cared for.

6. End with Encouragement

How you close the consultation matters. The last 30 seconds leave a lasting impression — on the patient and on the examiner. End with warmth, positivity, and a clear message that you are invested in this patient's ongoing care.

1. "You've taken a really positive step by coming in today."
2. "I'm confident we can make things better if we work together on this."
3. "I don't want you to feel like you're dealing with this alone — my door is always open."
4. "Let's book a follow-up so I can see how you're getting on. I'd like to keep an eye on this with you."

This is not about being artificially cheerful. It is about leaving the patient — and the examiner — with the impression of a doctor who cares about what happens next, not just what happened in this 12-minute window.