Lesson 3.2 — Anger, Frustration and Complaints
Do not match the patient’s emotional intensity. First identify what the anger is about. Often the useful question is not “Why are you angry?” but “What has happened that has left you feeling this frustrated?”
Case 8 — Angry about a delayed referral
A patient begins: “This is ridiculous. I’ve been waiting months and nobody cares.”
Strong frustration and a feeling of being ignored.
Defending the system immediately: “The waiting list is not our fault.”
“You’ve been waiting a long time and it sounds as though you’ve felt left without a plan. Tell me what has happened since the referral.”
You acknowledge the experience without admitting facts you do not know. Then you gather information and take appropriate ownership.
Summarise what you can do today, what you cannot control, and how the patient will be updated.
De-escalation Principles
- Lower your pace and tone.
- Name the problem rather than labelling the person.
- Do not promise an outcome you cannot deliver.
- Take ownership of the part that is yours.
- Set respectful boundaries if behaviour becomes abusive.